Posts tagged blame
Time off task
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I have been taking some time off work lately.. I need a break physically, and mentally. Sometimes I find it really difficult to put money in the pocket of someone else, when I could be following my own steps and putting money into my own pocket. This is what it’s like to work a regular job, and follow your dreams at the same time.

Time is never really available. Debts are inevitable. Support is hard to find. Space is hard to get. Money is hard to make. These are just some of the life lessons I endure in my travels. I like to joke and tell people that I work a 90 hour work week, and get paid for about half of it. A lot of the times, it’s true. I am pretty much always tired. Writing certainly helps soothe the soul. I must humbly admit, many of you who hate my music, love my writing. That’s what this “news” blog is all about. Are you following? Good. Are you paying attention? Perhaps not. That’s a statue of me. Idiot.

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I was having a conversation with a really really close friend. I was telling her that I haven’t felt like myself lately. It started to worry her. I mean.. I don’t feel like “King Craig James” anymore. (I clarified).. She immediately knew what I was talking about. I had let my website go offline, my music stop, and my fancy little phone system get taken off the hook. I stopped caring about everything I have worked on for the past 15 years. I guess I just over looked how many people truly appreciate the stuff I do. Including.. Myself.

I was listening to the Eminem CD “Kamikaze” and he said my name in it. “Craig G” not just once.. but twice.. I had to rewind that because I couldn’t believe my ears. As much of a conspiracy my life is. I have come to the conclusion (hopefully) that he was referencing an irrelevant rapper from the 80’s. However, the way he spoke about his competition.. I felt like he was calling me irrelevant as well. Sometimes stupid shit like that really gets to me, and really makes me kick my own ass. Even though, I don’t consider myself much of a rapper. I must admit, I am certainly inspired by “Slim Shady” and his movement. Either way, it was just the spark I needed to stand up and get things running. Well what do you know.. Here we are.

I am well aware that I come off as a bit narcissistic at times, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I am in business to do great things for great people. Whether it’s a song that makes them laugh, or an article that makes them cry.. A video that inspires them, or maybe even a photo that brings back memories. One fact is, I may not be a KING in the sense of a ruler, but I am the ruler of my destiny. Funny how a man such as I can set that aside, and forget it sometimes. Though when I do, a huge part of me is missing. People around me certainly notice.

I want to make a promise to myself not to slip up anymore. I am tired of being torn down. I am tired of highs and lows. I want some balance. I can’t let the rollercoaster of life make me feel the need to quit. Sometimes, we really have to fight to achieve success. So, I am done making excuses. No more blaming mom, dad, the weather, or economy.. or even my friends and fans.. I need to remember who the fuck I am. I need to keep in mind what I can achieve. For I am a man who has overcome all odds. I am still here. I am still strong. I am still standing. Stand by me.